I need to confess two things, and if my transparency makes you feel a little less alone in the world, that would be amazing. Also, real talk? I’m kind of putting this out into the world because I need some accountability, and there’s nothing more embarrassing than being held accountable by the Internet. Here goes…
First thing: I keep forgetting to wear my contacts. I’ve worn glasses for about 10 years; it’s pretty obvious that I need them. Every time I get an eye exam there’s always that moment when the eye doctor looks at me and goes, “Oh! Yeah, these are pretty different,” as they reference the fact that my left eye and right eye don’t have a lot in common. I often wonder if they just want something to talk about or if they really have not seen eyes like mine before. (Because really, one is farsighted and one is nearsighted and that doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal?)
When I first got my contacts, the appointment went a little longer than I had anticipated. I was having a really difficult time landing on a prescription, and the ophthalmologist told me I would get a trial run of whatever I selected. She said it takes a little bit of wearing for my eyes to really understand how to see with contacts as opposed to glasses (or, in my case, as opposed to not wearing my glasses). She also said some of the headaches I’ve been getting might be due to me not wear my glasses consistently. Oh, did I not mention the headaches earlier? Funny how that just slipped in there.
I started wearing contacts this year because my glasses have become nearly impossible to keep up with. And it’s been this way for almost the entirety of my journey as a glasses-wearer. I will literally forget to pack my glasses before a long trip, and then halfway through it I’m wondering why I can’t see anything on my phone… or on my laptop… or almost anywhere. Now as a toddler mom, I’ve had to make some choices. Our daughter has a general understanding that she is not supposed to play with mommy’s glasses, but then again, toddler. Contacts just make more sense.
But they are absolutely ineffective if I don’t put them in my eyes. It’s a relatively simple task for me and it does not take very long, but the Vin diagram of my discipline and the habit of actually wearing my contacts every single day have yet to overlap.
It’s the same way with my chiropractor—the second thing I need to confess. My husband gifted me with a membership to a chiropractor for my birthday. I’ve always benefitted from physical therapies, so this membership was one of the most incredible gifts he could’ve given me. But, just like my contacts, your girl is struggling to follow through.
The problem with the chiropractor (and by ‘problem with the chiropractor’ I mean ‘problem with me’) is that I will go once or twice, start feeling better, and then I don’t go again. It’s like I get a taste of how great my back could feel or how relaxed my shoulders could be, and my brain tells me we’ve reached our goal. Few weeks after that, I start to feel pain again, and I’m reminded to schedule another appointment. To quote Keke Palmer, but the gag is: there isn’t much sustained improvement if every time I put in the work I’m starting from the beginning.
There is nothing wrong with starting over—fresh starts are absolutely remarkable. But tricking yourself (myself) into thinking you’re putting in work doesn’t benefit anyone—especially you (me).
When it comes to self-care or physical health or mental health, consistency is key. And it’s such a cliché, but it’s true. If I wore my contacts on a consistent basis, I would not have to deal with some of these eye issues. Only wearing my contacts when I desperately need them or only going to the chiropractor when I’m in significant pain is causing me to start the healing process while I’m in the middle of a setback—which never sets me up for success.
I turned 30 last year which is the age I have been anticipating my entire life. I couldn’t be happier to finally have reached this milestone (but did y’all know about the lower-back set up and were you just not gonna tell me?). In my current season, I’m learning to take better care of myself. I’m learning to find joy in the “mundane” tasks of putting in contacts and scheduling chiropractor appointments. I am learning to manage the responsibilities that I take on and the expectations I set for myself. I was learning these things a few years ago… a few months ago… but I guess good lessons are worth revisiting. Because, truly, if it’s something that makes you better, you can’t embrace it once and walk away.
Is there something in your life you know you need to do, but you continually put it off or ignore it?
No? It’s just me? Oh, okay—cool, cool, cool.