About the Author

Dr. Alisha Reed is a licensed pharmacist and a widow mom who believes that self-care is non-negotiable. She is the creator of the lifestyle brand FLY with Alisha Reed, moderates a widow support group, and hosts The Fly Widow Podcast.

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Reader Interactions


  1. Realizing that as a woman, wife and mother I have done all I could have done and anyone who disagrees hasn’t walked in my shoes SO THEY have NO iDEA! Those who-benefitted and now pretend otherwise need to figure themselves
    out. God puts us where we need to be when we need to be there. That is a fact.

  2. Grace, it is what God gives us because we are loved, yes, I agree learn to love oneself, forgive oneself, Thank you for your words this morning, they are much received here in Princeton, North Carolina. Peace and Blessings to You Dear Sister!

  3. Grace is imitating Christ’s habit of extending restoration and reconciliation as he did to the woman who others wanted to stone because of her alleged adultery.

  4. Saw this at 8:25am and read it through. It is so true and refreshing, and needed. We need to remember to pause and be sweet to ourselves. To take those moments. The art of sending notes and letters must be revived celebrated and cherished!❣️✋️✋️

  5. Great story, it’s very hard to give yourself grace and not say you are being lazy, selfish or making excuses

  6. Giving myself Grace allows me to love my authentic self, forgive myself for past mistakes and live in gratitude daily.

  7. At 73 years of age, giving myself grace means forgiving myself for the poor choices I made in my early adult years which will forever have an effect on my now, 50 year old son. I struggle everyday to accomplish this.

  8. Thank you for this reminder! I am struggling with my weight and I needed to read this today: I don’t have to always be “on” to be loved.

  9. Amazing words of encouragement Dr. Reed! Thanks for sharing your journey and wisdom with the world. We are all better for it!

  10. Dr. Reed, you spoke to me giving me the best gift I’ve received in a while – words that speak to my soul and give me confirmation that my gift to myself is giving myself Grace – It’s Priceless!

  11. I’m a 67 year old African American woman. For the last 5 years my husband and I have taken care of my parents. My mother who had alzheimer’s passed a little over a year ago and now my 93 year old father is sick and has been in the hospital for almost 2 months. I feel an obligation to go visit him at the hospital every day, but I need to learn to give myself grace and not go Every day. It’s wearing me out.

  12. Grace, is not having to pretend I have all together, when knowing I I don’t. Grace is me telling myself don’t be so hard on yourself when you have made a mistake or comparing myself to other moms with grown children who don’t listen to wise council, and realizing you did your job as their mother and it’s up to them to reflect on the words you imparted in them.

    Grace is saying “Robin, you’re still ok even with the MS diagnosis,God’s grace is sufficient”

  13. My God! I am not alone. I try so hard to do everything for everyone in my life. I’ve spoiled my kids and husband and left nothing for myself. I go to work and give my all everyday but still feel like it’s not enough. I’m running on “E.” I need to find ways to fill my own cup. Grace to me is keeping up with my daily affirmations, taking a bath instead of a quick shower, finding time to walk alone and enjoy nature, and being ok with telling my kids “no.” Thanks for your testimony. It blessed me.

  14. This is such an amazing reminder that we are so deserving of the grace we give others. Right now, grace for myself looks like me finding a way to step away from commitments to others and focus on me and my well-being. The prayer is that I can extend grace to others without being their FIXER. I’ve given myself the grace to enter a season of “ME” time.

    Thank you for your transparency in sharing this article! You are such an inspiration 💞

  15. Finally I have come to this beautiful place, a state of grace. Retirement from the rat race, discontinuing my enabling routines to help others take advantage of me, has been liberating and was crucially necessary.
    I was beginning to be very physically and emotionally ill as I kept up on treadmills, 2 jobs, paying everyone’s way, while disregarding all the signs of obesity, diabetes and other conditions ready to end me. I made drastic changes, at the expense of relationships that weren’t healthy or mutually respected. My grandchildren are estranged, my daughter and son blame me for their problems.
    I have learned to accept that and to move on with people God put in my life, who sustain, encourage, love and respect me now. Was it an easy fork in the path, no but quite necessary as proven by the joy I feel now. A joy I never felt before in my entire life. (Away From The Tribe A novel based on a true adoption journey” is my book, & a means to my therapeutic breakthrough!)
    Writing helped me, as well.

  16. Dr. Reed

    You have been my blessing in a unexpected place. Thank you so much for this beautiful words of encouragement. As a single mother and grandmother. I have always put them first and neglect myself in the process. I have learn as you stated , give myself grace, I cannot feel bad when God give me grace to learn how to say ” No” and take time for myself without feeling guilty.

    Beautifully written. God bless

  17. I love this. I have to define what grace looks like for me beyond giving myself Grace that I do not know what my next career move looks like.

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